100 Tips How to Drive a Man Crazy!
It is high time to be more straight-to-the-point and forget about the “abstract” type of woman. Get into action! It is your turn now to rule and control the situation! Get satisfaction, feel the pleasing flames of passion – losing your head but always keeping in mind that safe sex is above them all.
It is NOT that easy to surprise a man but nobody said it is impossible. So let’s get started!!!
1. Wake him up by caressing his penis.
2. In the middle of the night, when he’s sleeping like a baby, start sucking his penis.
3. When he’s watching his favorite TV show or a football match, unzip his pants and get down the business.
4. Surprise him – get into the bathroom totally naked and help him wash his “little macho”.
5. Get him the coffee into the bed. Naked, of course…
6. … and stay naked while serving the rest of the breakfast.
7. Before offering him a blowjob, get jam or honey all over his penis and testicles – and then lick it till it’s shiny clean.
8. Before going to work, ask him to put on your panties, which you worn the day before, and let him wear the whole day.
9. During the work day, call him and tell him how much you want to rip off those panties and suck his cock.
10. Later on, call him again and tell him that you’re all wet and horny and already started playing with your nipples.
11. Then call him again and tell him that your vagina is dripping lava and what you, actually, do now is masturbating your clitoris.
12. Make another call. Say that you’re thrusting a huge vibrator, or a realistic dildo, in and out of your pussy. Tell him how sweaty your vibrator is. Describe everything in details, so, he has a clear picture what “erotic insanity” he is missing.
13. Don’t call him for a while… then dial his number again. Make him believe that you can’t reach an orgasm. The only thing that can take you to the ultimate pleasure is his, the one and only, penis.
14. When he’s coming back home from his office, meet him in the doorway, absolutely naked, wearing just a sexy silky pinafore.
15. Naked dinner!!! Make him undress to the “boner” and then have a romantic evening together. A bottle of red Californian wine and candles are, of course, included.
16. When he’ll finish his dinner pull up the pinafore and show him your new “hair-style”.
17. Now you need a video cam! Tell him you’ve prepared and erotic show, exclusively for him and you want HIM to be the “director” of this “home-made movie”. Let a nice tune flood into the room and start slowly dancing and striping.
18. Take the empty bottle of wine and start rubbing your vulva against it. Let your vagina swallow some inches of the bottle neck and then let it slide back. Repeat this several times. (He has to shoot everything, especially the close-up scenes.)
19. Take the candle out of the candle stick, bend over and slowly shove it into your anus (don’t let it go all inside. Hold the other end as tight as you can!). Play with it a while from side to side, make a couple of moves back and forth, take it out and then insert it back while he’s filming all this beauty.
20. It is about time to move to the bedroom. Set the camera thus, so, it can capture every your move and start YOUR game.. One single rule – he is not supposed to touch you until you permit him to do that. Lick his ears, neck, nipples, coming closer and closer to his penis.
21. Start sucking! Suck his penis as passionately as you have never done it before. Take out of your mind all possible stereotypes and restrictions… his penis, in this case, is the desert on top of the dinner you had. Enjoy it!
22. Change the position: your vulva now has to face his face. Swing your hips (yeah, like that baby) so the juices of your “flower” pour on his face. Don’t be ashamed. Get lusty! Let him suck, lick and swallow all your love elixir…
23. Again, change the position: now you’re on top. Take the lead and enjoy it as much as you can! Love him slowly, however keep moving in a certain rhythm – move like you’re riding a horse, the most beautiful and strong horse, which you can’t find even in a fairytale.
24. Next evening play the cassette from the camera to see the crazy stuff you’ve recorded – and have another insane sex session.
25. Get yourself something (just one item) from the sexy lingerie boutique and put it on by his return. Stockings, silky panties, strings, whatever that can make him excited!
26. During the weekend, wear something very and very light, again, for the sake of his excitement. Get topless or, vice-verse, cover only the upper part of your body.
27. Ask him to undress you. Let him take your panties, your bras… you don’t have to do anything…
28. Ask him to prepare a hot bath and make him wash you from top till toes, especially the piquant areas.
29. Ask him to soap you pubic area and shave your “kitty” (if you still have any hair over there, of course).
30. Tell him to join you. Soap and wash him.
31. Soap his penis and testicles and shave that “jungle” from the map of his body.
32. Make him show how he masturbates and try to repeat his moves.
33. Lay back, spread your legs and show him how you masturbate.
34. Get closer to him. Play with his penis till you know every inch of it and its every vein. You should know all these details and, also, the way he reacts to certain stimulation.
35. Now, let him explore your body. Tell him not to fuss and take his time. He can do it the way HE likes it – be means of his finger, tongue: let him have enough time for that. Remember: men get excited from erotic views!
36. Turn around, pull your butt up and let him explore your anus – with his delicate fingers and naughty tongue. Don’t oppose – remember when you relax the sphincter muscles, anal play becomes pleasing and enjoyable.
37. Ask him to lay back and bend over. Now it is time for you to play with HIS anus. Touch it with your finger, ask him to relax if he feels uncomfortable. Shove your finger up his anus and try to find his prostate gland. If you want the fun to go on, and he’s not against it, massage the prostate until he ejaculates.
38. Watch a porn movie together. Now double the fun, as you’re lying on your stomach let him take you from behind. Move slowly back and forth, as you carry on watching the movie.
39. Get yourself a vibrator (or a dildo)! Get the biggest, the weirdest and the most impressive one, like for example: “The Black Obelisk” dildo or “King Size” rabbit vibrator, and ask your partner to try it on you.
40. During sex, when your partner is on top, keep the vibrator ready, already lubricated, switch it on and stick it into his butt. He’s going to love that!!!
41. Looking for more exquisite sensations??? Get an anal vibrator for yourself as well and insert it into your own anus to feel what double penetration is all about!
42. During summer, spring or winter time – whenever you feel like having sex – get onto the front/back yard and make some love on fresh air. On the grass. Leaning on a tree. On a flower-bed.. Wherever you like and find it comfortable.
43. Choose a beautiful summer night, when it’s not too hot and not to cold, get a tent and make yourselves comfortable either on your back yard or pick a quiet place, somewhere in the countryside, where you can enjoy a romantic evening, looking at the full moon and falling stars.
44. Same night, when you’re tet-a-tet with the nature, spread your legs, ask your partner to put his hand on your vulva and piss on it.
45. Ask him to take all the clothes off and start masturbating, while you’re shooting everything on a video cam.
46. Disguise yourself into a dominant woman – some black leather corset and high heels will rather do – and be his mistress for a night. Tie him up to a chair, by means of a rope or a couple of hand cuffs, and start slowly teasing him. Do everything what your lustful mind is telling you to do. Gently touch his body, lick and slightly bite his penis. Take one of his testicles into your mouth and say you’re going to bite it off. Put his penis into a nut-cracker and say you’re going to squeeze all his sperm till the last drop – just for the sake of scaring him. Insert into his anus all possible adult sex toys: anal beads, butt plugs, anal dildos and vibrators. Give his butt a royal treat. Be his “You’re all mine. I’m gonna do to you WHATEVER I like!” type of woman tonight.
47. Invite him to a restaurant. (Yes, exactly, you invite him and not the other way around.) During the working day, men quite often forget about romantic stuff, but not this time. After a couple of glasses of wine whisper him that you’ve got nothing underneath you gown, nothing but a juicy and hungry vagina.
48. Buy a bottle of aromatic massage lotion and start massaging his neck, shoulders, arms, spine line, and bums. Both of you have to be totally relaxed and naked. Don’t rush. This time sex must be slow like “the motion of the ocean”, not the “fast & furious” kind. So, your aim is to make him as relaxed as possible.
49. Now ask him to do the same thing and massage your body.. Ask him to pay much attention to your breasts and, especially, nipples.
50. Teach him how to caress your body the way YOU REALLY LIKE – i.e. the way you enjoy the most. When he gets down the business, guide him: “Slower… lower… faster… right there… dee-e-e-e-eeep-eeer-r-r…” Remember, even the best lover on world cannot read your mind…
51. Ask him to describe you his most secret sex desire.
52. It’s now your turn to tell him your naughtiest fantasy, including all the spicy details. Don’t miss anything from your story.
53. Pick him up from the office by the end of a working day. All that you have to year at that moment are your high heels, stockings and a cloak.
54. Unzip his pants while he’s driving and start playing with his penis (this one is totally depending on the traffic situation! Make sure it is safe for both of you. Better unsatisfied and alive, than satisfied but dead.)
55. Set up a “Sex Weekend” – there have to be just the two of you. Make love, have a drink or two, have a snack, again sex… watch a movie together, then again sex… on the kitchen table, in the bathroom, balcony, porch stairs… be crazy!
56. Browse through a couple of online adult stores and let each of you pick something for him/herself. ONE RULE: whatever your choose – either a 12 inch long anal vibrator or a blow doll with a realistic dildo and a vibrating “back-door”- you have to try it!
57. Purchase some porn magazines and look through them together. If you see something that is worth trying – go ahead.
58. If you’re reluctant to oral sex, then offer him blow-jobs as often as it’s possible, even if you’re going to suck only the top of his penis for the first time.
59. Sperm… you still can’t stand its taste, can you? You can get used to it if you masturbate your partner and let him ejaculate into a Champaign glass. Then, lick it a bit. Try to figure out what it tastes like. You’re NOT a MONKEY to like that taste, however, many women tend to like its taste as time passes by. They can drink a full glass of sperm and ask for more.
60. Enter the bathroom when your partner is taking a shower. Ask him to pee, so, you can see how it happens “when you’re a boy”. True couples, where partners share a mutual feeling of respect and care about each other, try to figure out what exactly causes the premature ejaculation and by means of special sexual exercises, sex positions, masturbation techniques and usage of a certain range of adult sex toys for men (anal vibrators, prostate massagers, vibrating dildos, etc…) come to a phenomenal result, with unbelievable “sex records”. In the mean time, touch his penis, so, you have a clear vision of the whole process. After he’s finished start to play and suck his penis.
61. In the middle of the night, when he’s asleep, take off your panties and sit with your vulva on his mouth and give him a passionate kiss with your “lips”. Watch his reaction when he wakes up…
62. Also, in the middle of the night, while you partner is sleeping, salivate one of your fingers and insert it into his anus. Find and massage his prostate and suck his penis at the same time. Do it carefully so he doesn’t wake up. Then, in the morning, ask whether he had any erotic “wet” dreams or not.
63. Role playing!!! Pick a motel in uptown, get dressed like a hooker and make him your “client” who’s going to pay a good price for your services.
64. Play the “Erotic Confessions” game – tell each other all your intimate and erotic fantasies that you’d like to happen. Tell kinky stories to excite each other, something like: “… then I take a long, double dildo, one end is in my butt and I suck the other end like a lollipop…”
65. Let him lie on his back, totally relaxed, and arrange an anal stimulation session for him. Gently caress his penis, while inserting a lubricated finger into his anus. How many fingers can he take? One? Two? Three??? If you do it the right way – and if he’s not against – you can insert the whole hand in there. The more fingers you insert, the faster masturbate his penis.
66. Buy a book, which says: “99 sex positions for crazy orgasms” and try (even if there’s nothing special) each and every one.
67. Ask your man to insert his penis into your vagina BUT do not move it at all. Tell him to stand still, whereas you, by means of contracting the ring of your vaginal muscles, will take him to the boiling point. It is also a great exercise for yourself, as thus you make your vagina muscles and nerves more sensible, which, eventually, give you greater orgasms.
68. If this experiment didn’t work with your partner, then you’ll have to exercise more with a pen or carrot (a clean one!!!). It is for your own sake you learn it – the orgasms are stronger and more frequent when your “erotic muscles” are well trained!!!
69. The number says it all! Get back to the roots of sex and try the “69” position, either you’re on top or him. This will make you experience a simultaneous orgasm, which happens kind of rarely.
70. Put a hot towel and then a cold one upon his genitals. This, on one hand, will provide VERY exciting sensations for him and, on the other hand, it is a very good method to stimulate his prostate gland, a vital element for a man’s health.
71. Rub against his penis with different parts of your body – your feet, inner thighs, armpits, breasts…
72. If you wear long hair, wrap up his penis by means of them and start masturbating him. This will add more spice into the foreplay.
73. Anal sex – they love it!!! Men always think of having anal sex with their female partners, while females, in most of the cases, reject the idea. If you don’t have anything against anal sex, then go ahead. At least try it, so, for the future you know what it’s like. The more lubrication you use and the more relaxed you are (foreplay is really essential in this case) the more pleasure you’ll get. Start with a little experiment – see how deep you can take it – can you handle the whole penis from the very first time??? After some time ask him to stop moving and do same contracting exercises you did prior with your vagina but, this time, using your anal muscles. Watch him melting in pleasure.
74. Pose for him – let him take pictures of you. If that’s not enough for you, guys, and you’re looking for more kinky fun, then try sending these pictures to an adult magazine, where they can publish them under the “My Sexy Wife/Girlfriend Illustrations” section.
75. When he’s out for a business trip, make sure that he finds a long loving message (pictures should be included) when he opens his suit-case on the other end of the planet…
76. … you can also put some male adult sex toys: a masturbator, or a prostate massager, or an anal vibrator, or a dildo, so, away they will “take care of him” while he’s away.
77. Get into the bed wearing a corset, stocking and high heels…
78. … or long leather high boots and a pair of long, black gloves.
79. Ask your man to wear your tiny, wet panties under his suit before he goes to work.
80. Have him wearing during the love games your stockings and corset, you’ve been wearing the other night.
81. Let him lie on his back and lick him all over – slowly and gently.
82. Try a sex session in the pool (lubrication required!!!).
83. Have sex on the back seat of the car (park the vehicle before you get down the business).
84. Use different tricks to show him that you also need sensual foreplay. Give him hints even when the situation does not supposes any sexual contact at all: while he’s reading, watching TV, repairing his bike or doing whatsoever men’s business.
85. Make him know that you’d love his tongue to visit your “vertical smile” as often as possible. For example, while cooking turn around facing him, pull up your skirt and ask him to lick you vulva like he’s never done before!
86. Another kinky option would be inserting a banana into you vagina leaving just the top of the end outside. Ask him to eat the banana as slowly as he can.
87. When you don’t feel like having sex – masturbate him. Let him ejaculate on your breasts, then spread the sperm all over your stomach. You can also let him ejaculate on your face and then spread the semen all over, as sperm is known to have good effects for face skin.
88. Morning exercises should be a MUST in your relationship. Healthy minds in healthy bodies. It is much better if you do it absolutely naked, of course, which, eventually, can end up with a crazy quickie before work.
89. Play trivial, easy and, at the same time, interesting games, sort of Qs and As. The “loser” has to make the winner’s erotic dream come true.
90. Sex at nature! You both will never forget it.
91. Sexy details – do you have them??? You wonder what on Earth the sexy details are? Well, put a chain on your ankle, or dye your pubic hair in pink, or get yourself a tattoo, for example on one of your breasts. That’s going to work miracles and excite him A LOT!
92. Call him while he’s at work and start masturbating with the phone. Some of the phones are so slim that they can easily be inserted into vagina, instead of vibrators or dildos, and get extremely pleasing sensations. You’ll get more pleasure if you press it against the clitoris area.
93. Behave yourself like you’re addicted to sex. Let him know that you’re crazy about sex and, what’s more important, crazy about sex with him. Use different women tricks everyday for that: touch his penis, even if he’s dressed, and give him a naughty glance.
94. When it comes to shaving your pubic hair, ask him to do that for you.
95. Buy some extravagant and sexy lingerie for your man.
96. Remember, men fancy sexy, elegant, slender and good-looking women! Keep a diet, not a strict one but keep your body in shape all the time, so, your body becomes narcotic to him.
97. Make him feel proud of himself. Keep telling he’s THE GREATEST LOVER ever now and then.
98. Print out this article and “forget” it in your bedroom – let him come across it, “accidentally” of course.
99. Be self-confident. Men like women that know who they really are, what they really want and what sex is all about.
100. Have sex RIGHT NOW!!! Don’t try to find any pretexts not to do it, like: “I’m tired… I’ve got head ache… Blah-blah-blah…” What are you waiting for??? Go have SEX!!!
